just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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