I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
