I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Drunk is a universal language darling
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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