Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
