I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
