I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
