pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
