She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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