I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize