yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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