I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
