Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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