"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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