...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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