Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
