Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize