he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
