we have officially lost it.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
