Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
