fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I party with great urgency now.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
