idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
