I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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