That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
