Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
