I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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