Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
