just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
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