I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
