drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
why do cheetos always look like penises
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
