love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
