It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
