Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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