I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
