just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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