I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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