Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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