I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
