Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
