He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
