got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
