Little spoons don't ask big questions
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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