I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
