Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
