She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize