just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
