'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
