all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
