Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize