Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
