I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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