no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
