I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i out mim tonsoeep
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize