Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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