What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Soap is not a condiment
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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