Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
