i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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