Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize