oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
