You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
