Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
