I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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