Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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