why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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